I am trying to second guess the Christian Apologetics Department at BIOLA . They will probably argue that it was a severe case of childhood arthritis that left poor little Jesus unable to hold a writing stick or bone or bamboo leaving little hope that he would ever draw a simple and loving message in the sand for his mommy.
What evidence will WLC or BIOLA use to “defend” Jesus?
They will rely, surely, on the
propagandists embedded reporter essayist that gave us the early account of the first few moments. The only place to find the telltale sign that something was amiss will be in Matthew since he was the only one that remembered that these guys showed up. Matthew tells us “Three Kings” (not Clooney, Wahlberg, Ice Cube) showed up with three items for the newborn. Gold, frankincense and myrrh. Perfect. Of course they would. They heard the baby was born with arthritis!
Breaking it down:
Two of the three gifts (frankincense and myrrh) were known in the ancient world for their healing powers. What were they good for? Arthritis. Myrrh might have had a dual purpose. It was accepted that it would provide comfort for the newborn’s mom as well; something about it working pretty good for uterine bleeding. (Chills- even as I wrote that.)
Frankincense and myrrh were used as anti-inflammatory agents (plus uterine bleeding – Chills!). These anti-inflammatory agents were used to treat rheumatoid arthritis back in the Bronze Age and well into the Enamel Age.
What will those pesky Dudley Do-Right’s say about the gold? Hmmm.
The Kings brought some bling-bling along since there was no
SSDI government handout assistance to help parents with children born with disabilities. Wait, that won’t work. Baby Jesus accepting government bricks of cheese gold? O’Reilly will have a field day with that. So, they won’t use that angle. Sounded good…
They will say that it was meant to distract any would-be thieves along their long and treacherous journey from India, Persia, and Africa. Maybe China? I dunno. The point is that the gold was meant to distract the thieves (and children that would one day fight over who gets to carry the gold during the stage production) so that they wouldn’t notice the meds.
I think this will be the case that will be presented and adopted by Apologetic programs across the globe FOR the acceptance that Jesus was born with a slight deformity and thus precluded him being in any of the reindeer games. Or writing his own version of events. Not that silly Dysgraphia story.